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| Immediate Nostalgia |
| 03.16.04 (12:07 pm) [edit] |
I think we as a culture are fast approaching a time warp. The space between events occurring and remembering those events fondly has reached its apex. It's pretty fucking frightening if you actually sit and think about it.
I remember going to high school with kids who wore retro 70s bullshit clothing: tie-dyed shirts and bellbottoms and all that. There were nostalgic for a generation they hadn't even lived through (and disco, which is forever horrible). These kids had Jim Morrison posters on their wall and threw peace signs and all that shit. Needless to say, I hated all of them.
How can you be nostalgic about a time period you never experienced? And when did the time span between current and "retro" shrink to ten years? In the 90s, the retro kids wore 70s clothes. Now, the kids wear 80s and 90s clothes for the ironic look. VH1 has a show called "The Best Week Ever" which reminisces about the PREVIOUS WEEK. You need time to lapse before you can fondly remember stuff. Don't get me wrong, that show is fucking hilarious, but it's the perfect example of this scary trend of immediate nostalgia.
Another good example is this Joss Stone bitch. She's like 15 or something and sings like an old black soul singer. And what fucking song is her single? A cover of the White Stripes' "Fell In Love With A Girl," which only came out two years ago! You can't do an homage to a song/band that is still relevant. That's the fucking rules. Covering shitty old songs and tweaking them to your style is acceptable. Covering old songs from bands that are still around but shouldn't be (Aerosmith, Rolling Stones, etc) is also acceptable.
YOU CANNOT COVER A SONG THAT ONLY CAME OUT TWO YEARS AGO.
It's written down somewhere, I'm fucking positive. What's next? A song coming out tomorrow, then covered by someone else the following day? I'd be personally offended if I was Jack White and some pre-fabricated pre-teen is getting famous for singing my song. Not just singing it, but fucking butchering it.
Who is actually sitting around going, "That's a great fucking cover. WAAY better than the original.."? Jesus Christ, you need to let stuff fade away before you rehash them. The music industry is in such a state of utter shit that they're already raping the corpses before they get cold.
Speaking of music, if I see one more goddamn Kurt Cobain article, I'm gonna kill someone. I understand how relevant he was, and his music is awesome, but let it go. Maybe the reason I'm so bitter is because I actually remember the day Cobain died and experienced the Nirvana/grunge boom personally. Seeing kids wearing Cobain/Nirvana shirts today seems petty and trivial. Is that how our parents felt when our generation rocked Doors shirts? I think Cobain was instrumental and vital to jumpstarting the music industry, but not to the fact that he's become the martyr he is today. Without "Nevermind" and all that, he'd just be another suicide.
I dunno, maybe I just can't consider people who lived during my life "revolutionary" or "geniuses." People who died before I was born have a certain myth status to them that I can latch onto. I didn't see them on TV day in and day out. We've reached the 10-year mark on Cobain's death. Here's looking forward to the 15 and 20 year memorials (which are inevitable).
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| The Quick And The Pointless |
| 03.05.04 (9:37 pm) [edit] |
[i]Alright. I've come to the realization that I don't get that genuinely pissed at most things anymore. Either that, or I'm so drained after my menial job that I don't want to take the time to type. I'm banking on the second theory.
Still, when I drink enough, everything that pisses me off is thrown at me in one fell swoop. So, for the sake of an update, I'm gonna attack several fronts at once. This is gonna be fast and furious, so make sure you hang on:[/i]
[b]311[/b] - Here's a tip: slowing down The Cure's [b]"Love Song"[/b] and making the drum beat [i]"white reggae"[/i] does [u]NOT[/u] constitute a cover song. Give it up. You stopped being relevant once I graduated high school. [i]ACTUALLY[/i], you stopped being relevant once I stopped smoking pot. And that was [u]BEFORE[/u] I graduated high school.
[b]Iron Pony[/b] - I don't know what market you're targeting, but you have the "Retarded Redneck With Access To Cable" market [u]SEALED[/u]. Stop advertising. Bikers who need shit know to go to you. You're not going to sway anyone with your backwards-ass commercials.
[b]John Henson[/b] - You kicked SOOO much ass on [b]"Talk Soup"[/b] but your new show is sucking more than a Flowbee. My prayers are with ya, and you have the right formula (keeping Tom and Alan Wu), but cable TV doesn't need another smarmy wiseass with his own show right now. Hopefully you can overcome, but right now it's painful to watch.
[b]Beer[/b] - Thank Jeebus you were created. You make everything tolerable and people more interesting. God bless.
[b]Every "New" Band On Radio[/b] - Please please please please shut the fuck up. If I hear that "[i]I Hate Everything About You"[/i] song ONE more fucking time, I'm buying a gun. I liked it better back in 1998, when the band was called [b]FINGER ELEVEN [/b]and I was stupid enough to enjoy nasally Canadian "singing."
Oh, and Fred Durst, I know this is a tired subject, but NEVER COVER ANOTHER SONG AGAIN. I liked [u]Three Dollar Bill Y'all[/u] when I was in high school. That is my shame, and I live with it. I've moved on, and so should you. I've never heard the original [b]"Behind Blue Eyes,"[/b] but you've officially ruined it. I now hate The Who, and you're to blame.
[b]Girls Gone Wild[/b] - Anyone who buys shitty softcore porn via TELEVISION deserves what they get - shitty videos of semi-good-looking women showing their horrible chests. It doesn't matter how good the new commercial looks: It's still the same tape, edited differently. Spend your hard-earned money at a porno shop.
[b]America[/b] - You officially suck. Not only is Bush probably gonna be re-elected, but you dumb fuckers allowed Todd from [b]Todd TV[/b] to keep his new life by a 72% MARGIN. That's retarded. This smug fuck gets to keep a recording contract, a motorcycle, a new house, etc. I guess America doesn't like to see people getting what they deserve. I've become even more disillusioned, if that was humanly possible.
Alright. I feel much better. There will be a rant on the state of shitty music in the upcoming weeks, so stay tuned.
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