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Random Musings From The Drunken Master
06.28.04 (7:59 pm)   [edit]
It's 11:31pm, I've had a few 40's... Time for the random rant generator to fuck shit up...

[u][b]IRAQ[/b][/u]
I promised myself I wouldn't touch this shit because I had family over there (back now), but this shit is out of control. I know that my writing this blog will soothe all tensions in the Middle East, so I have to do my civic duty and send a message.

[i]*Honestly, I tried writing something witty about 20 times tonight, and nothing is funny about what's going on over there. Beheading's are fucked up, and raging against Iraq does nothing to bring back the people over there... I'm honestly left with nothing to say that won't come across as REALLY fucked up or trite. Even [b]I[/b] know when lines are crossed*[/i]

[u][b]SMALL TOWNS[/b][/u]
I had the extreme pleasure (displeasure?) of going to some of my buddies' hometown this weekend to experience a community party. I've heard legends of this party all through college, and had to experience it for myself. Now, let me set things straight. My buddies gave me no false intentions and/or promises. They knew their hometown sucked as much as I would. Still, taking this in mind, it was still interesting.

I'll break it down into it's good parts and bad parts:
[i][b]GOOD[/b][/i]
[b]1. Dollar Beer[/b] - Even though this is a ripoff in college, the simple fact of charging a buck a cup for a keg of Miller Lite is a novel idea. Especially when it goes to a CATHOLIC charity. God bless.

[b]2. $3 Fish Sammiches[/b] - I'm not a big fan of the fish, but after about 20 of the $1 beers this shit kicked ass. Actually, $3 punches in the stomach sounded alright after all that beer.

[b]3. Gambling Galore[/b] - For a charity/fund-raiser for a church/parish, this party had a lot of semi-gambling. For example, the [i]BIG SIX[/i] was a wheel that spun with dice combinations on it. You put dollars down on the numbers #1-6. Whatever combinations the wheel ended up could make you money. I don't remember much of this, but I think I ended up ahead at the end of the night. God bless.

[i][b]BAD[/b][/i]
1. [b]Alienation[/b] - Nothing makes you look inward more than a bunch of people looking AT you. Yeah, redneck, I'm NOT FROM TOWN... back to beating your kid.

2. [b]Dollar Beer[/b] - 20 is honestly enough.

3. [b]Getting Slapped By A Girl [/b]- Ask my buddy about this sometime. Drunkeness actually BRINGS OUT the Jerry Springer in people.

Moral of this story: Your hometown sucks just like everyone's, mine's included. But at least this town has a drunken fest to forget how horrible it can be.

[i]*APOLOGY: To everyone of my buddies who actually READS this blog, don't bitch. You hate your town more than I do, and I actually semi-enjoyed myself. I'll buy you a shot next time I see ya*[/i]

[u][b]NEW NEIGHBORS[/b][/u]
They love RAP and BASS. I'm not a fan of such, being a metalhead, but that alone doesn't cause a problem.

[b]TURN DOWN YOUR SUBWOOFERS AFTER 10, FUCKOFFS[/b]

ALSO, don't run your car outside the house for 15 minutes with rap blaring. The music doesn't matter. Whatever makes the windows shake should not be blasting at 1am. I'm not an old codger by any means, but FOR FUCK'S SAKE TURN IT DOWN.

[i](I'd be even more pissed if I had a real job)[/i]

I went to college (as is well stated on this site) and I recognize AND follow these simple "Apartment Guidelines"

1. [b]NO LOUD NOISE AFTER 10pm [/b]- Unless it's a weekend. Otherwise the cops get involved, and that ain't pretty.

2. [b]NO YELLING[/b] - Unless it's the weekend or your girlfriend's forgotten her fucking role [i]AGAIN[/i].

3. [b]NO SETTING FIRE TO NEIGHBOR'S DOG[/b] - I learned this the hard way after a particularly obnoxious Chihuahua. Yipping fucker had it coming, though.



That's it for now. I actually realize how shitty this is after re-reading it, but I'm still posting it. I hate you, don't forget.

[i]BTW - I'm working on a rant about realizing who your true friends are. It might actually be deep and shit, so be forewarned.[/i]

Fuck off,
trevordanger
 
Pure, Unbridled Hate For The Masses
06.24.04 (9:06 am)   [edit]
I know it's been quite a while since you've had an update from the Spitemaster. I've been putting off blogs for a spell, so I can fully harness the rage and anger I feel at the world in one cohesive rant (instead of four or five small rants).

The job I was freelancing for ended at the beginning of the month. They'd been training me to bring me on after the project was over, so I was pretty sure I had a job waiting for me.

[b]RULE: NEVER PLAN ON HAVING A JOB WAITING FOR YOU[/b]

After going on a mini-spending spree, I was pretty disturbed to be called into my boss' office. He was disappointed, but the old lady who runs the company said they couldn't afford to bring me on.

[i]*Pay attention to those words "couldn't afford" because they are quite funny in an ironic way later in this rant*[/i]

I struggled to keep some semblance of a job there, lest I had to go back and answer fucking phones again. I offered anything, even continuing as an hourly rate and not necessarily full-time. My boss liked the idea and said he'd try to get the old lady to go with it.

Now comes the waiting part... I'm being strung along with false hopes for about two-three weeks here by this company. In the meantime, they're nice enough to throw me some hours helping on projects and driving courier shit. "Nice" is the operative word, folks. Driving around this shithole city during business hours is more difficult than fucking a Mormon.

Oh, I forgot about the part where my boss is supposed to write me this bad-ass letter of recommendation for use in future resumes. He took his sweet fucking time on that sumbitch, too. So, basically, two weeks later I find out that there's no job for me and he's JUST finished the letter.

[i](Literally, he typed the fucker while I sat in his office. After two fucking weeks of gasping for air at this place, they shove me off. The letter kicked ass, though, so I was kinda stoked)[/i]

In the meantime, I apply for some local jobs on Monster.com. Both mention "Marketing" but not "Telemarketing". The one job is supposedly marketing/advertising for Fortune 500 companies. The other job is a manager trainee job at a warehouse. I get callbacks from both applications. Let's break this shit down, eh?

[b]SHIT JOB #1 [/b]- I drive out to bumfuck to some office for the "Marketing/Sales/Entry Level" job. I'm dressed reasonably nice: No tie or shit, but dress shirt/khakis/etc. The interviewer comes out and leads me into a room. I soon find out he's the President of that branch of the company. Soon, the grilling begins.

This motherfucker (all 5'3 of him) begins to peer into my very soul with his beady eyes, sizing me up and laying me out. I answer his questions truthfully and TRY to maintain eye contact for as long as possible. The truth is, I get creeped out by people who stare. Break contact now and then and remind me you're not a fucking cyborg out for my spleen. Not this dude. He's boring a hole through my head with his evil stare. I soon find out that the job consists of calling businesses and trying to get them to buy shit. Now's a good time for a stupid fucking differentiation:

[b][i]Telemarketing [/b]- Calling people and trying to make them buy shit.
[b]B2B Calls [/b]- Calling BUSINESSES and trying to make them buy shit.[/i]

He gave me the standard "Second Interview" chat and I walked out. I only felt slightly better because I'd just wasted a good half-hour of his time. That smug fucker...

[b]SHIT JOB #2 [/b]- I was semi-stoked about this job. The place wasn't too hard to find and they were rocking classic rock in the lobby. The VP of the company sat me down and told me about the job and it still sounded interesting. Basically, they were a wholesaler who sold cheap shit from Taiwan to other businesses at a 80% profit. My job would be "customer service/light warehouse work."

[b]PAY ATTENTION TO THIS SHIT[/b]

I got the second interview, which would be an all-day experience with one of their trainees. I showed up bright and early on Monday morning, met the dude who was training me, and we drove off.

Quick note: My trainee dude was 22. He'd only been with the company 3 months. He was super-stoked about the job, yet really didn't shed to much light on what the job exactly WAS. That's when I sensed trouble.

So, we're driving to a town about 45 minutes from here and bullshitting the whole way. He's bragging about how much money he clears, yet still won't really tell me what he actually DOES. I ask him how much I could make and he brags about people making $100,000 after only two years with the company.

My Bullshit-Meter was peaking already.

We stop at a gas station for drinks and gas and he goes "This is our first stop." I thought maybe the town or something, but he meant [i]the fucking gas station[/i].
He opens up his trunk and begins stuffing a bag with rinky-dink products: A barking dog backpack, CD cases, nail trimmers, butane lighters, etc. He then proceeds into the gas station and starts his routine:

"Hey everybody! We're running a new promotion and wondered if you want in on the ground floor!"

He continued this shit-charade, throwing lines like "but for the price" and "they make great gifts" like fucking loose change. I started cringing automatically.

THEN he walked to the next business in town, a fucking hair salon, and did it all over again. After about three or four "businesses" we hopped in the car and drove to our destination. On the drive, I stressed how I DID NOT WANT THE FUCKING JOB and how misleading the ad was. He said the job wasn't for everyone and understood.

So, that sack of shit VP lied to me. Actually, he "stretched the truth". Another differentiation:

[i][b]Customer Service [/b]- Talking to people door to door, selling worthless shit to them at wholesale prices
[b]Warehouse [/b]- The trunk of your fucking car
[b]Light Paperwork [/b]- Adding up how much shit you sold per day on a piece of paper.[/i]

So, knowing I didn't want the job, I ask to be taken back to my car. To my surprise, he tells me he can't take me back. I agreed to go all day, and if he took my back it would take 2 hours out of his sales.

Yeah... in some kind of karmic retribution for all of the homeless I've fucked with, my ass is stuck in blazing hot weather in a podunk fucking town. FOR SEVEN HOURS.

Side note: It's shit like this that sheds a light on who your true friends are. True friends would come pick you up, no matter the case. MY FRIENDS don't do shit because they fucking suck.

Fuck that job and it's lying VP. That Sasquatch-looking motherfucker can dine on my shit till he chokes.

MOVING ON...
I find out from my buddy who works there that they're dicking him around. He doesn't make jack shit to begin with, but they let him use the equipment to make movies. Now they're cutting off his movies and not giving him what he deserves to earn.

The poor motherfucker started at $19,500 because he didn't know shit about video production. After 90 days he was supposed to be making some sort of bank, but they gave him a 3% raise. This continued, penny-pinching here and there, and after two years of hard work he was only making $21,000. That's goddamn ridiculous. You can earn more sucking cock at Hardee's (just ask my roommate).

So now they were taking away the only thing that kept him at the company - his movies. He was fed up, and rightfully so, so he turned in his two-week notice.

Lo and behold, I receive a hearty phone call that SAME DAY, asking if I'm interested in a position with the company. Now, I'm already expecting this. So, in my head, I've decided that I'm only working there if I can get some good base salary. I have several resumes out at their competition and I'm waiting on phone calls from other jobs.

I went in to discuss the job... and here's the gist: They offer me $19,500 with no benefits except for a shitty health care HMO that costs too damn much. They guarantee raises every 6 months if I work my ass off.

[i]*Remember the "couldn't afford" bit earlier? HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT AFFORD PEOPLE WHEN YOU PAY JACKSHIT?*[/i]

Now, I'm pretty fucking devastated. I went to college for five years, yet I still get offered LESS than what I was making as a freelancer? Get fucking real. I listen to his spiel for a while and then lay down the gauntlet. I need to make at least $23,000 for this job to be worth my time. Not that I'm a hardass (I am, though), but that's a fucking joke salary for no benefits. He takes this into account and we'll find out what the real deal is tomorrow.

Needless to say, the job market fucking sucks and people fucking suck. I hate every company who's ever wasted my time and I hate the companies who don't respond to my resumes/calls/etc.

You've waited long enough, fuckholes... Trevor Danger is back and in prime form. Assclowns beware...
 
A College Primer
06.02.04 (5:50 am)   [edit]
[i]I just dug this up with some of my older rants I had stored away. It's an oldie but a goodie, and especially relevant if you're graduating high school this year...[/i]

Dear prospective college students,

We all start out as fresh-faced, naive fools... how you adapt equals how you survive.

This is a message to all those about to enter the machinery that is college life. I wish that one of these had been given to me when I was ready to leave the safety and security of my parents’ house, those five long years ago. Instead, I was given the “rah-rah” bullshit that college institutions are famous for. With those colorful brochures and perky “guided tours” (which are given by students strapped for cash who despise the college more than you’d think), incoming students are given a glossy overview of the next four years of their lives. It'll be daunting, yet your outlook remains hopeful. College is a very scary place, but for more reasons than you’d expect. So, as a graduating “super senior” (more on this term later), I’ve felt it necessary to pass my knowledge to future generations. Here, my young trainees, is the TRUE college experience: how to survive it and still maintain SOME dignity and pocket change.
First off, I’m skipping the whole “dorm life” scene... I transferred down here from a branch college that gave me NO buffering for what "real college" would be like. I didn’t get the experience of living with someone I didn’t know, becoming good friends with them, sneaking beer into the dorm, etc. All that hokey bullshit has been covered to death anyway, by people with more experience and positivity than I have. Look for books with stupid titles like [u]Dorm Life for Dummies[/u] or [u]College for Fucking Retards[/u] or some shit if you want that. I’m trying to get down to the fine workings of the college machine; the things that will chew you up and spit you out.

[b]CHOOSING A MAJOR[/b]: Remember when you were in high school, and you took one of those stupid fucking tests that [i]supposedly[/i] told you what you should do with your life? Did you end up with something cool?
Awesome!
Now, throw that away and forget about it. Those tests are for idiots and give guidance counselors something to do besides think about their chosen profession. ([i]Side note: if you notice, [b]guidance counselor[/b] is never a career option on those tests... higher-ups took them out years ago so people wouldn’t be trapped in those shitty jobs[/i]).
You want to know how impressive those tests are? I took the thing, answered the questions with a chosen profession in mind, and ended up with [i][b]vending machine attendant[/b][/i]. Yeah, the guy who refills the Pepsi and shit. That’s my preferred profession according to those tests, but I have yet to find a four-year institution that offers such courses. Maybe I’d be happier if I had, but I instead chose [b]Telecommunications[/b] as my major. Here comes the spite...
I left high school with the vague notion of what I wanted to do. Something art-related, mixed with being a DJ on a radio station. Unfortunately (or fortunately, for the rest of the world), there is no such job out there. So, I was faced with entering college like many people, and drifting from class to class under the wonderful [i][b]UNDECIDED[/b][/i] heading. Luckily, my mom found a clipping about a kid who graduated from my high school and was now working for NBC or some shit. That seemed kind of cool. Then I saw Howard Stern’s movie, "Private Parts." I was set in my decision... I wanted to do [b]Telecommunications[/b] and become a star, or at least have a creative outlet. [b]TCOM[/b] has audio/video/journalistic subdivisions. Surely there had to be something there for me, right? I chose video production, to appeal to my artier side. That’s when things started going good.
Going to a regional branch right out of high school is a double-edged sword. You get the comfort and security of a great education at a cheap price and with smaller classrooms. You make friends that you’ll probably see again at the main branch, and you get to know the professors personally. You’re not just Social Security #09384202, you’re a real person. The best thing, though, is that you get this piece of paper that tells you [b]EXACTLY WHICH CLASSES TO TAKE, WHAT TIME TO TAKE THEM[/b], so that you’re guaranteed to GRADUATE with at LEAST an associate’s before heading on. That’s right, kids, none of this confusing DARS bullshit... you take the classes as they’re assigned and you get your degree.
Simple, right?

[i][b]Lesson #1: If A Class Is Required, And You Don’t Take It The First Time, It Will Not Be Offered Again Until At LEAST A Year Later, So Don’t Hold Your Fucking Breath.[/b][/i]
I fucked this last part up. Wanting to get a change of scenery (I was sick of seeing the same 20 people in EVERY class), I rearranged my schedule to take a different class.
So, I was screwed out of an Associate’s. Big fucking deal, right? I’d still be getting my Bachelor’s in two more years, right?
The reason so many people change their majors so many times? Bureaucratic bullshit. Here’s college in a nutshell - You have an [i]advisor[/i] who is supposed to guide you throughout your college experience, be there for you when you get into trouble, and generally help you. More than likely, you’ll end up with an advisor who knows little about you or your program and has 30 other kids somewhat like you under their care. They end up not giving two shits about you graduating on time, nor what problems you’re having with your classes.

[b]TIP[/b]: Learn how to read a DARS immediately. The faster you can figure out that enigmatic, Matrix-like puzzle, the faster you’ll graduate. It’s not that difficult, and it will save you assloads of time. Don’t expect your advisor to walk you through college.

[i][b]Lesson #2: Do Not Rely On Your Advisor For Jack Shit...[/b][/i]
I went to my advisor during my fourth year to find out how long I had before I graduated. The way I read my DARS, I was stuck for at least another quarter or two. I asked him to give me a list of classes to take EACH quarter so I could graduate on time (similar to the list given at the regional branch). His response?

[i]“This is how you read a DARS...”[/i]

I told him I knew how to read a DARS. All he had to do was look at my DARS and confirm my suspicions, then help me out any way he could. His response?

[i]“This is how you read a DARS...”[/i]

Fucking Christ. That was the last time I spoke to my advisor, except for a head nod or two when I had to go into his office to get the goddamned DARS report.

[i][b]Lesson #3: Do Not Burn Bridges, Especially With Jackass Know-It-All’s Who Will Probably End Up Being Your Supervisors Later...[/b][/i]
Once you get into your classes, try and make friends early. Do NOT do what I did and automatically make enemies. You’ll find these kids rather early in the game. They’re the ones who know WAY too fucking much about your chosen major. They're the kids who’ve known what they wanted to do and always have a knowing fucking air about them that they’re hot shit. The kids who will probably end up being successful at this chosen profession, but at the loss of a social life and, possibly, with their virginity intact. I, being a pretty social person ([i]alcoholic[/i]), went to these classes with an open mind at first, but didn’t put my entire being into the workload. Instead, I made snide comments about these people, whose whole lives revolved around TCOM. Here’s where the lesson comes in: You’ll run into those people for the rest of your college years and probably later on in life.

Now for the money issue. College is fucking notorious for squeezing every last dime out of you and your family for tuition, books, fees, etc.

[b]TIP[/b]: Don’t buy books until the second or third week of class. By that time, they’re usually all gone, with no hope for getting new copies in. Professors almost always ask who doesn’t have a book, and it’s always a large group. This means the professors have to adjust their lesson plans to take into account those “poor folks” who didn’t get a chance to buy a book. This means less work for you. If all else fails, find one of those dorks I mentioned earlier and borrow their book from them. You save money, and all you have to do is act friendly to them every so often. It's inexpensive and you get bonus points for putting up with assclowns.

The best part of college is that EVERYTHING costs money, time, or sanity. They charge you for tuition, books, fees and the best part... graduation. Yes, after four-to-five years at this place, you have to PAY to get your degree.
[b]What... the... FUCK?[/b]
Think of college as a giant Monopoly board, where the campus owns all the taxes and shit, and the slumlords own all the real estate. Every time you roll the dice, you’re fucked into paying loads of cash to SOMEONE. Oh, the part I forgot? There is no GO spot... you don’t get $200 every time you pass GO. Instead, you go directly to jail. To get out of jail (college), you’ve got to spend $50 for your degree. The thing you’ve been working your ass off to get, that you should [b]DESERVE[/b], that should be [b]GIVEN TO YOU [/b]for your accomplishments... has a $50 price tag. Colleges are so caring, though, that they give you a hug after fucking you over. It’s called annual alumni donation requests... Even after graduation they continue to haunt you and your money.

Now, you may think I’m spiteful, that maybe I’ve had a bad time down here. Not necessarily. I’ve made friends that will last for a lifetime, been to parties I’ll talk about for years, and generally learned a good bit. But I’ve also become extremely jaded about the whole college machine and the real world that comes after it. I entered this institution as a fresh-faced kid, excited about learning [b]Telecommunications[/b] . Now I don’t know what I want to do with my life, and I’m not interested in joining the real world. After being dicked around by the TCOM school (they’ve kept me here for five fucking years), I’ve seen enough bureaucratic red tape to cover a mass murder crime scene.
The inner workings of each school on campus are like the movie “Office Space.” Each professor has at least one or two bosses they talk to, who in turn have one or two bosses they talk to, etc. The legendary DARS reports are like the “TPS Reports” from the movie... no one want to deal with the fuckers.
I can’t blame most of my professors for the shit I’m stuck with. I take my fair share of the blame due to laziness, anger, spite, and general intellectual burnout. But when I can’t get into the classes I need to, then have to talk to fifty fucking people to get a pink slip, there’s something wrong with the system.

[i][b]Lesson #4: Register As Early As You Can, Or Else You’ll Get Shut-Out...[/b][/i]
Fuck, you should start registering DAYS before you’re allowed to, just on the off chance you get into that class. The TCOM School is notorious for filling up its REQUIRED classes before half the students can register. As a [i]super senior[/i] (not super at all, just a fifth-year that’s still stuck here), I had to pink slip into a REGISTERED class I needed to graduate.

[i][b]Lesson #5: Your Professor/Advisor Will Never Answer Their Phone During Office Hours, Will Never Return Phone Messages, And Never Replies To Emails...[/b][/i]
The only way to get the information you need is to track them down like they're fucking animals. Stalk their offices, familiarize yourself with their lunch schedules, and/or chain yourself to their office doors or cars. That's the only way you’ll get any response from them. For having so many options at their disposal, face-to-face communication is the only option that works. Learn this lesson now, and it will save you years of time.
If you happen to find a major that suits you, try your damnedest to not let all this shit get you down. It’s hard, but worthwhile. After wading through this bullshit for so long, I’ve grown tired and weary of my future profession. I’ve lost the spark that made me want to do this for the rest of my life.

Now for the fun part, social tips for surviving college life. I’m by no means a professional, nor am I that popular outside my social circles, but these tips will work for anyone in any circumstance:

[b]DRINKING[/b]
When you’re of age (or have a quality fake ID that passes all tests), find yourself a comfortable bar and drink there often. Try out all the bars your town has to offer, then pick one or two that fit you best. Then, grab a barstool and become Norm from “Cheers”. Drink as often as possible; get to know the bartenders and door guys on a first name basis. Tip well, but not flauntingly. The better you tip, the faster you’ll get served on busy nights and the better treated you’ll be. Flaunt money and you’ll be expected to tip that way each time. Find a bar that suits your style. There’s sports bars for the jocks, punk rock bars for the punkers and metalheads, dance clubs for the ravers and dancers... just find the right one and become a regular. You’ll end up with more perks than you think you will (free/cheap drinks, regular service, and reputation).
The only drawback to this is that it makes you very skeptical of other bars. I personally refuse to go to other bars on busy nights because of shitty service and the clientele. My kind doesn’t mix well with others, and why fuck up a good thing by leaving a bar I know?

[b]DATING[/b]
I really can’t help you guys out on this. I really suck at the whole “dating scene”, but I do have a few tips that will save you stress and shit. First off, don’t date people in your program or major (at least not until near graduation). If you ever break up, you’re fucked with seeing him/her in every required class you have. Plus, you might have to do group projects with him/her and relive every past experience you had. Not good. Just remember the old adage “[i]Don’t Shit Where You Eat[/i]” and you’ll be fine.

[b]MAKING FRIENDS[/b]
It took me a good while to meet the quality group of people I associate with. Basically, drink a lot and get to know people. Liquid courage makes you talkative, so bank on that and you'll make friends. Just make sure you remember them the next day. Also, when you do make a decent group of friends, don’t start whoring yourself to the girls/guys they hang out with. It’s dirty and your friends will probably cock-block you anyway. Trust me on this one.

[b]TIP[/b]: Have at least two or three BIG-ass friends. The kind of friend that says [i]Don’t Fuck With Me[/i] when they frown. This will save your ass countless times during bar-fights or other such encounters. It’s always good to avoid fighting, but it’s even better to have big-ass friends backing you up when the shit goes down.

[b]CLUBS/GROUPS[/b]
You’ll be encouraged from the first day of college to join clubs, activities, and group sports.
[b]Fuck that.[/b]
Unless you’re the kind of person who needs a club to make you feel good about yourself, this shit is useless. Unless the club benefits your resume, or is free to join, stay away from it. Clubs are kind of like cults... easy to join, but they'll suck you into a mindset that may fuck your life up. Okay, maybe they’re not that bad, but they do give people an air of superiority around non-club people. As a non-club person, I’ve seen the air of egotism that comes from groups of club people when they go out. They wear their little jackets and huddle together with their in-jokes and shit. Annoying and very fucking cheesy. If you’re gonna pull that bullshit, save up the cash and join a sorority or fraternity...

[b]TIP[/b]: If you’re going to join a fraternity or sorority, ignore ALL of my advice. What you’ll learn from your fellow brothers/sisters is infinitely more valuable than any of this. You’re paying for your friends, you might as well learn from them. Plus, you’ll adapt into a group mindset where you’re told what to think anyway. Have fun jerking each other off or whoring uptown.

That about wraps up my tips for now. I hope this is beneficial to someone out there. Look beyond the bullshit that colleges offer you on their brochures. Become less trusting and more guarded. Build a thick skin and get ready to stress out at least ONCE a quarter. College IS the best time of your life, all joking aside. You’ll experience shit you’ll never forget, and learn things that will last you a lifetime. Have fun, and try and make it out alive.